Blizzard Schmlizzard

This year I spent Christmas with my son and his wife. For years I've been the one stressing out over menus and housecleaning, dreading the cleanup. This year my kids did it for me. Sure was nice.

The only stressful part of the holiday was driving through the blizzard to pick up the college kid so she wouldn't be alone. A simple half hour drive took over two hours. The drive back took even longer, and two of the four of us were terrified. Not the driver (my son) or me, though. I never worried a second. How could I? I was with my family.

So my little dogs and I enjoyed a quiet, happy holiday with my kids and grand dogs. Turns out my bigger dog loves snow, while the little one thinks it's from the devil. I'm still on the fence, myself.

New kinds of Christmas memories. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that's good.

Hey Mom! Look, No Tears!

It's almost Christmas, and here we are, finally getting why you wanted us to be close. We wasted alot of years, but we've fixed that now. You were right, we need each other more than we realised.

Whenever I see sunsets like these, I think how beautiful it must be where you are. I know you were waiting for Jordan and wrapped your love around him when he arrived, because that's the kinda Mom you are. I'm so glad you have each other, if I can't have you both here with me.

I'm okay, Mom. Better than ok, I'm happy. Merry Christmas, Mom.

Merry Christmas to Me!

This is the best Christmas I've had in 10 years!! It's not about gifts (although I do love my Kindle!) or social engagements (except maybe the Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert). It's about family, and being happy.



The Best: I recently reconnected with my favorite sister.



I last spoke to her just after Jordan died. She was going to come to the funeral, and then she didn't. I can't remember why, that was a very clouded time for me. But then we just never talked again. I was so deep in my grief, and I think she was at a loss. I also believe the thought of taking care of me as I plowed through that emotional hurricane was terrifying for her. We'd always been close: she'd let me live with her and her family when my parents pretty much disowned me for being an unwed mother. But this was a different kind of mess, the kind that you can't wash off or walk away from. Although I didn't know much else at the time, I knew that.





I have never been angry, even one moment, about how all that happened. It just was. I learned so quickly that people grieve how they need to grieve, there's no right or wrong way. And I had friends and family who helped me through it. It's been 10 years, and I'm fine. Thanks to FaceBook, we're reconnected. It's like the past 10 years melted away, or never even happened. I am so happy to have my sister back in my life. I love her. And having her back is the best Christmas gift ever.

There Might Be Life After Divorce

There is every possibility that I might accidently find myself happily involved in a new relationship. I didn't plan it, and didn't even want it, but there's This Guy. I've been seeing him about a month, and he's nothing like what I'm used to. He's open, loves to talk about anything I want to talk about, and he makes me laugh. And he's pretty hot, too. He listens to the boundaries I need, and respects them.

Now he wants to learn to scuba dive, like me. He wants to go to Mexico with me, where's the sunsets are romantic. He used those words. I'm not tripping over myself yet, I'm being so careful. But I'm liking every second of this. And maybe I won't be alone the rest of my life. Maybe next year on the reef, I'll have a Sweetheart next to me. I won't be sea turtling it any more. Hmmm. There are Possibilities.

Focus!

I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel all over the world, and see a good part of the planet underwater. I took it for granted til the year I lost my son. That summer I took the best underwater photographs of my life, and I finally realised it was because I was able to focus.

Being underwater is the most peaceful, calming place in my life. It is a healing place for me, as well. Sometimes the best thing for us is to focus our attention away from ourselves and on another. And fish never pose. Nice, huh?